Was watching cable TV the other day and came across a Bigfoot documentary. As a kid I was always interested in Bigfoot, and totally believed they exist. These days? Well maybe age makes you more cynical but I’d rather think logic becomes a bigger part of your decision process!!

This documentary was supposed from the BFRO Group, and was like those Ghost Hunter series that are out there now, everything is shot in night gear, their eyes are the spooky white (reflection off the retina’s), there’s “Did you see that? Wow” followed by a Blair Witch Project camera-everywhere run somewhere whilst screaming “I hear something” / “I see something”.

Its effective television, “spooky-so-it-must-be-true” kind of stuff, cause let’s face it, having a map on the screen for ten minutes explaining there have been four sightings in Miami and one on the main street of San Diego isn’t as exciting.

I may be calling it early, but I’m going to risk by saying Bigfoot doesn’t exist.

Why I am being so brave? Well I am not and zoologist, anthropologist, or any other ist for that matter, I’m just banking on logic.

I’m going to start my logic with the fact there have been stories attributed to Bigfoot for 400 years – yet we haven’t found one. Or the skeleton of one. Or any really good sample (hair, teeth, poop) of one. Not in 400 years.

Now the believers say 400 years is an indication of how real they are, but Im thinking if you haven’t found one of 2,000 – 6,000 seven to nine foot hair covered things in America, it doesn’t exist. Australia? Maybe – there’s 20 million people in Australia and only 3 don’t live on the coast; Jen, Liz and Trevor – whose a great guy. There are 300 million in the USA.

But 6,000 isn’t a lot, it’s a population density of 0.0006 per square km – but that’s more than the Timber Wolf, which has estimates of only 800 to 1,500 left. Yet compare the images.google.com results for Bigfoot here versus Timber Wolf here. Remember there could be 5 times as many Bigfoot’s, yet Timber Wolves have calendars.

I also have a problem with the population vs the sightings. First I would love to know statistically the probability for 6,000 units to have caused that many sighting over than square area. I mean have a look at this map for the lower south east.

Plus most of the sightings talk about lone animals, with a suggestion of more male than female. At that population density I would have thought you’d see some packs or prides; safety in numbers. Plus you would think you would see more evidence of families, as being mammal, big and few suggests it would it would have a long gestation period and would need to rear its young over a long period of time.

Take humans, we have a gestation period of 9 months and even that is quick for our size, we have developed to have our young before they have fully developed. Once out they are effectively useless for years and need to be supported (ideally) by both parents.

This implies an older reproducing age, again suggesting family unit. With such low numbers there would be significant defending of fertile grounds and females, young bucks would be forced to fair for themselves when they were able. They would have long migrations to find the next female – and how come they can find themselves when we can’t?

With development throughout the US those migration patterns would now be carved up by expressways, rivers, dams, suburbia, cities, Area 51 – why hasn’t one been hit by a car? Take a look at the map below. When the North Dover Bigfoots want to go messing with the Livingston crowd look at all the development they have to go through.

Surely the young would be vulnerable at least? – disease, famine, trucks?

Sorry, I think when all is said and done the reason why we haven’t found one is because there are none. Four hundred years ago these were stories to explain mysteries, unknown animals, explain how the world works and scare children. Its also interesting to note that most cultures develop their own Bigfoot equivalents, in Australia its called the Bunyip. Today I think the legend is fuelled by hope much more than anything else.

Oh and as for the Bunyip, haven’t seen one, and until either Jen, Liz or Trevor confirm I don’t believe in them either!